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Monday, May 18, 2009

It's moments like these that make me happy this time tomorrow rolled around again for me to see

I count when I go up and down stairs. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.... each step is counted. Not out loud of course. Inside my head as I take the step. Does anyone else do this when you go up and down stairs?

Gulp... kinda stickin' my undies wayyyyyy out there this time, eh?

"Oh, boy. What if I'm the only one who does this." I gulp again...

I have a thing for numbers. Sequences in numbers. On clocks I see my birthday, my son's birthday, etc. I like watching for sequences like 778877 on a car's odometer. Or 123456. Or 654321... Sequences like these on cars only roll around once. Does anyone else like seeing these sequences on car odometers, too?

I especially loved how they used to click over on older makes of cars. It was like watching little flip cards slowly turn up a new number. You had some time to gear up before such a huge rollover would happen like the one depicted on the photo below. 99,999. One mile before 100,000. (I know you can count...) On a newer models you can easily miss it because our world is digitized.

I took the shots below yesterday on my way to hike with Superman. I'd been waiting for this all important turn of numbers for awhile now. I will only be able to see this occur ONCE on this automobile. Once!

I don't take little things like this for granted any more. Being inside a car has a whole new feeling, a whole new meaning for me now. I drive slower. I probably would have been driving 70 on the freeway when this all important rollover happened. I may have tried to snap a shot of it on my cell phone. Don't get all snooty on me now... Shakin' your head's saying, "I would NEVER DO that..."

To drive to the state park where I did yesterday took all my courage. Driving anywhere takes all my courage. I usually take side roads to go anywhere. In fact, I rarely even get on the freeway. Yesterday I was afraid I'd be distracted looking at my odometer for 100,000 so I drove slowly on the side roads waiting for it to happen. I'm now the kind of driver you may drive past expecting to see a blue haired, really ancient, old lady hunched over the steering wheel. At 20, or 30 or 40 or even 50 years old I would have honked at myself! You know you've honked at people like me before.... (honk-honk) I never used to be this way.... Never. And if you're thinking 50 something is really ancient or old.... Shame on you... 50 rolls around way faster than an odometer...

Life is a sequence. Life is change, and I look at this sequence an entirely different way than I used to.

Here it is. 100,000.... Beautiful, isn't it?

See the partial image of the girl emerging on the left of the picture. She's an important fixture on my dashboard. Some of you have guardian angels, Mother Mary's, crystals, dice, crucifixes, lucky charms, etc., hanging or posted somewhere in your car. Tokens, symbols, meaningful messages to reassure or remind you from time to time that someone, or something, is watching over you. Good luck or God's love....

I call her "Juno Girl". She's my visual super hero. She's my reminder to have faith. While the picture is an image that I found on a wine bottle that's not why I have it (her) on my dash. You can find the artist who painted her here.

Hear me when I say I am not promoting drinking and driving in any manner, shape or form! REPEAT: Do NOT drink and drive!

It's her smile. It's her attitude. It's my reminder to loosen my grip on the steering wheel.... To relax my shoulders. To tell myself (for the 4,389 time) "Those people in the lane next to me are NOT bad drivers about to hit me." I am safe. I'm OK.

I'm grateful to be gripping a steering wheel in spite of my constantly white knuckles. But at times, well, in fact... most of the time... I'm taking it one mile at a time on the freeway. Mustering up courage to expand my miles beyond my house. To get up and go out the door. To get back on the road of life. To treasure my daily business---from waking up--to going to sleep. I was given another chance to make a list of 101 things I want to do and NOW go out and get to do them. To smile like this pretty girl in the picture. The gift of being able to say thank you for my family, my friends and tell them I love them.

And having another chance to see things like the turning of the odometer to 100,001.



  1. Have courage, friend! Thank you for sharing your journey with us, your readers!!
    tina :)

  2. I am soaking up your blessing of courage, Tina. And one can never soak up enough friendship or the gift of courage. Thank you, my friend. :-)

  3. I also have a "thing" for numbers! I thought I was the only one! LOL
    It takes a lot of courage to get behind the wheel after an accident. That one instance does not deserve to get the best of you! Stay strong! I hope you feel better each day.

  4. Haha this was a fun post to read. I don't pay attention the the odometer in my car but I do notice the numbers on a clock. I always see my birthday or my sisters. When I was in school, at 1:11 I would make a wish. Numbers are actually a big part of my life too. I work in a grocery store so I see numbers all day long. I find it really cool when a total or change due is $6.66 however; I feel odd when I have to tell the customer that. "Your total is 666.

  5. Obviously, I am not alone in my quirkiness. I have a numerical mind that I've fought with my entire life. I had conquered most of it... until I read your blog. Now I know that I will experience a set-back! lol Something happens (for the good) at this stage of life... We learn to take the backroads and enjoy the slower moments.

  6. Hi Lille Diane! I'm one of those blue-haired bitties too now! lol. The burnout taught me to calm down, although I relate to you having to remind yourself to relax your shoulders - this is still a problem for me, that and clenching my jaw. PTSD not only messes up your mind, it's hard on the body too! Congrats on getting out in the car! Baby steps and little successes are the things that keep you building your confidence! I was on vacation in Nova Scotia when my car's odometer clicked over to 100,000 and I pulled over on a highway to take a photo, it was so dang exciting! Keep it up, and keep inspiring others to conquer their fears and challenges!

  7. you certainly have a thing with numbers- an obsession even, perhaps? i envy people who can just handle numbers with ease. i don;t. i break out in cold sweats when i see too many numbers all on the same page.

    and i like your spirit in gratefulness. ;)thumbs up, girl!

  8. Thank you for your kind comments on my blog! I don't like driving - and I'm sure if I'd been in a bad wreck I'd be experiencing the very same anxieties you are. My heart goes out to you. Having said that, my teen son is learning to drive. I got him a cross that attaches to the visor. It has a little compartment inside, and my daughter (after securely fastening her seatbelt) wrote a little prayer on a piece of paper and tucked it into that compartment. It says "God, please help my mom tolerate teenagers!" So take the side roads for as long as you like, and if you see us driving on the wrong side of that winding road - I'm the pale, stiff and anxious one in the passenger seat!

  9. And here, all this time, I thought I was the only procrastinating perfectionist!

    I love reading your story!


  10. OH!!!! I'm glad that I aired my undies about my thing with numbers!!! OK I'm relieved, too, to have so many "numba sistas". WOOT, Sistas!!! Ha ha

    Dear MRSSMITH... (numba sista...)
    In regards to, "That one instance does not deserve to get the best of you!" You are soooo right. I will write this down and post it on my mirror in my bathroom. Thank you! :-)

    Dear Lady Bug, (numba sista...)
    Whew... I can totally relate. This is so cool. I will now add 1:11 to my list of numba to-do's. Happily so. (I'm sick... I know it...)

    Oh the 666 thingy... When I first moved to OH from CA my pre-fix for my phone number was 666.... hoooo, boy... Some of my friends from CA actually thought I moved to hell's gate. Imagine that???!!! I think you should give your customer the evil eyeballs when their receipt says 666. LOL (is it ok to crack yourself up???)

    Lille Diane looks ova her shoulder for a lightning strike for saying that bout' the 666... gulp.

    OMGoodness MzzLily... (numba sista...)

    I am in deep doo now. I caused a relapse in your numba madness. Why does this make me feel kinda warm and fuzzzzy all ova???

    Yes, MzzLily...we can slow down now. I like growing up. I'm working to remind myself that this was a miracle and not a tragedy. Thank you for the hug via your words. :-)

  11. Precious Rain... co-member of the blue haired bitty club... LOL I wee'd muhself on this comment. WOW you took a pic of 100,000 miles, too?! I would have loved to have been on the road trip through Nova Scotia. Wouldn't it be fun to sit and have a cuppa jo together? Thank you for sharing your heart and encouraging words with me. I feel like you are a sista.

  12. I do have a thing with numbers. Silver. But I totally suck at math. Isn't that weird? I don't do the cold sweat thing either but that comment made me grin. I do more of the hot sweat thing. And not with #'s. (I know TMI...)

    Here's where we are sista's, Silver. With the attitude of gratefulness. I am grateful every time I read your blog. You are the poster child for courage. Hugzzzz to you, dear Silver.

  13. You are most welcome, Deb.

    I will come back to this post just to read the comment you made. How sweet, How funny. How totally pre-teen. "my daughter (after securely fastening her seatbelt) wrote a little prayer on a piece of paper and tucked it into that compartment. It says "God, please help my mom tolerate teenagers!" "

    Great visual about "So take the side roads for as long as you like, and if you see us driving on the wrong side of that winding road - I'm the pale, stiff and anxious one in the passenger seat!"

    Oh I remember giving my son driving lessons. I wanted to take drugs, doggie downers--anything to chill me out. I didn't of course but your comment is a really good reminder that I survived "that".... Thank you!

    I think there's some real meat in what you wrote even though I think it is hysterical. I'll be over to your place (blog) to visit again real soon!

  14. Haha well you cracked me up. It's okay, I always crack myself up.

  15. OK I'll pack the Depends whenever we go somewhere together. Could be dangerous travelin' without them. You sooooo make me LOL...right out loud. ;-)

  16. Hi Lille Sista Diane!! :-)
    Actually, I'm in metric land so it was 100,000km! I have a different car now, bought it when there was 123k on it, so my next exciting landmark will be 150k, and I'll be sure to capture it on film, lol! You'd love Nova Scotia, heck the entire Martime area of Canada is absolutely gorgeous! I'll be moving to Prince Edward Island in October so I'll share many pix with everyone!

  17. I count too. I even count things that I have counted hundreds of times and therefore know the number of. It's the product of a mind that is restless and needs order. It's probably like having just a smidgen of OCD.

    Thanks for the photo of yourself.

  18. I will be watching and waiting for you PEI pictures, Rain. One of my goals is to take a train across Canada. Now you've piqued my curiosity about the Martime area. Now I will be googling the heck out of where you live. LOL

    Thanks, Sista Rain. ;-)

  19. Get outta my head Snow... you hit the nail on the head. I think half the people I know are a wee bit OCD. Some more than others but I did suspect the counting may be related.

    Now I will have more peace about saying (out loud), "Hi. My name is Lille Diane and I count things. Over and over again."

    Now it's your turn to say, "Thank you for sharing that with us." And my turn as well. Thank you for sharing this with me, Snow. I feel better knowing you count things, too.

  20. Oh I wanted to take the train across Canada, I really think it's the best way to see the Rockies. You can just sit in the viewing car and shrink with pleasure at the beauty of them! Oh Lille Diane, the Maritimes are a must see for sure. You'll feel it when you see my photos! Geez, I'm getting SO EXCITED to go.....


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