Wonder Dog is Chasing Moonbeams

Wonder Dog, AKA Canaan, left us this last Tuesday to investigate what lies beyond the big, blue planet called Earth. We didn't even know he had a reservation to go. It seemed for the last few years anytime someone would ask Superman how old Canaan was he'd say, Oh, he's about 15 years old." His daughter, Anna, reminded him this past summer he had to be at least 16 or 17. You would never have known it to watch him leap like a gazelle right before his daily walk of a mile. Nothing, except a wee scrap of healthy food, made him happier than to go on his "walkies" with Superman. He was handsome, strong, lean and muscular, so much so, my niece, Emilee, named him the George Clooney of the dog world.

On Tuesday morning he whimpered in a way I'd never heard him do before and it seemed too early for his normal schedule for him to be acting that way. Since he hadn't been out for his morning walk yet to relieve himself, we thought it might be that. He didn't make it before Superman had time to get his boots and winter wear on, and had a couple of accidents in the house. This always causes him great shame because he has a bladder I could only dream about having; strong and well trained.

When it came time to put on his leash, he just sat there. He'd never done this before. Superman said the day Canaan didn't want to go on his walk was the day we'd know something was wrong with him. Tuesday was that day. Canaan barely made it down the street past a few houses to do his business then barely moved forward to continue the full mile walk. Superman turned back toward home and Canaan seemed relieved. He walked slow, and with great labor, that Superman thought he may have to carry him the rest of the way home. Somewhere deep inside Wonder Dog found his strength to trudge on, silver face stoic, and chocolate chip eyes focused on making what would be his last walkie home.

I was in my studio when Superman let him back in the house. I could hear his footsteps and turned to see him looking everywhere for me. I waved my arms, much to his delight, and watched him walk toward me with deliberate, difficult steps. I turned my chair to face him full on, and rubbed his soft cheeks and eye lids like he loved me to do. Ho looked up at me, and I could see the stress and pain in his eyes. Wonder Dog and I had a special bond. He talked to me by sending me mental images. To be exact, I could honestly say I heard him say full sentences. I have gift of mental telepathy with animals, plants and trees. My nickname is Doctor Doolille because of my gift of communication with wildlife and pets of all kinds.

"I'm not doing too well." he said. "It's my liver and my pancreas. Just like the pain you have." I knew in an instant he was right-on. My pancreas was damaged in a surgery in 1993 and it would elevate both my liver and my pancreas enzymes to dangerous levels off and on since the botched surgery I had. The auto accident caused more damage to this area because of the blunt force trauma and location of the seat belt across my abdomen. It is very painful. Canaan had experienced bouts of vomiting followed by extreme diarrhea that would hit him every now and then. He'd instinctively go off his food and water until things calmed down. In that moment, I remembered we had just gone through a round of this with him about a month prior to Tuesday. I knew he spoke the truth to me, and I told him to let me know what he needed us to do. With that he let me rub his soft, velvety jowls, and kiss him on top of his head. He turned slowly and walked back to his bed in the other room. I felt an eerie chill rush over me.

About an hour later, I heard a thud on the floor, and turned to see him sprawled belly down, paws extended out to his sides. He was trying to make his way to me but didn't make it. His breathing was labored. I leaped from my chair to get to him, and straddled his body on the floor so I could be close to his face, his eyes, his thoughts, his essence. He didn't have to send me any messages, I could see he was in trouble. I grabbed my phone to text Superman to come up ASAP which he did in true Superman speed. He got down on the floor on the opposite side of Wonder Dog, and there, the three of us stayed for the next hour.

We knew he was in too much pain to be jostled around or picked up. I cupped his face and asked him to tell me what he wanted us to do. He hated going to the vet even though we had learned over the summer that I could almost hypnotize him into a trance when he became overwrought with Vet-Angst. Mama could always calm the pup. I heard him tell me he did not want to go to the vet. He clearly told me he didn't want to go anywhere. With that message we continued to lie next to him, speaking words of love, and comfort while petting him gently.

At one point about 30 minutes later we could see the light beginning to fade from his eyes. I asked him what he wanted us to do to help him, and asked him if he wanted us to have the vet come here to ease his pain to help him do what he needed to do.

"I am a warrior." he said. "I can do this on my own, in my own way." I choked hearing the truth. Our Wonder Dog was leaving us. I told Superman what he said. He nodded saying that sounds like him. We smiled weakly at each other, and turned our attention to him. "I don't want to leave you." he whispered. "I know, Pup. I know." and I did know this with all my heart. I repeated his message to Superman. He shook his head and told him it was OK for him to go.

His breathing became rhythmic which seemed to put him into a deep sleep. Then, as if in a dream, we saw his eyes darting all around in the excited way dogs do when they're loving where they are and wanting to check everything out. He looked happy and appeared to be sniffing the air. I knew he was on the other side making his way to the Rainbow Bridge. This is the time humans want to call their beloved pets back. I did. I couldn't help it. I didn't want him to leave us. None of us did but we knew it was too late for his body to hang out here on Earth with us any longer. He was ready for a new body in another place and time.

Wonder Dog was an obedient and fiercely loyal dog. He heard me call his name, heard my fear of letting him go, and responded by shaking himself slightly before opening his eyes. He looked at me, then at Superman, then repeated this several times as if to memorize our faces. He moved his face over to Superman extended arm, nuzzled him gently with his snout then began inhaling the scent of his Master as if it were a calming balm, his favorite fragrance, even better than pizza.

This is the part where super hero dogs do super hero tasks with ease, with dignity, with exquisite valor and bravery. Three times his body convulsed as if he was shaking himself free of his Earthy armor. Then three times his body pushed the air from his lungs out... never more to inhale again, at least here. The room glowed, Wonder Dog glowed, and somehow the two of us glowed. A peace fell like a blanket of love and for awhile longer we sat there, petting him, and crying. Superman made arrangements for us to take him to our vet to have his body cremated. It felt dream like, and surreal, picking up his limp body and carrying it to the car. We didn't speak much for the quick 5 minute trip.

The veterinary assistants met us at the back door and helped Superman carry him inside. The female tech had tears in her eyes, and told us how sorry she was. She had a black lab, too, that she had to put down in October. Seeing her tenderness made it easier to leave him there but I can't tell you how badly I wanted to scoop him up and carry him back home. Superman could feel my pain, and gently placed his arms around me, to guide me away before I completely fell apart. Canaan was a special dog, and wiggled into my heart as if he's always been my dog. He had that effect on everyone.

It was difficult pulling into our driveway knowing he wouldn't great us at the door. During the last few months his hearing had gotten so bad he couldn't hear us come home so Opie Taylor would run to the door as if to help him know someone was at the door. If Opie ran into the bedroom and hid under the bed, it meant a stranger was at the door. If he ran to the door, Canaan would know it was us. The two of them loved each other very much. The night before they had played chase and game ended right in front of Superman and me. Opie gave Canaan a long kitty kiss, and leaned in closer to smell his breath for a few seconds. I remembered Opie does that to me when I'm sick--he smells my breath but I shrugged it off. Canaan looked and acted as spry as a puppy playing with his kitty. Now today, he was gone.

Opie was not at the door when we walked up to let ourselves in. We walked down the long entry way to the living room, and saw him lying in the exact spot Canaan had died at. He was in the Spinx posture, eyes frozen in a blank stare. He didn't get up to move toward us right away like he usually does. I walked over to him, and then he meowed in a weak, hurt kitten cry as if to ask where did Canaan go. He spent hours pacing all over the house, repeatedly, looking for him. He stood in front of Canaan's bed and stared at the dent left by his dog brother as if he'd just gotten up to get a drink of water and would be right back. Opie climbed into the bed, and curled up. We knew he was trying to get a reading, or a scent or a message from his dog. Opie was confused and hurting.

The last few days have been very hard around here. Opie yowls at night, hoping his cries will be met by a galloping Wonder Dog coming back to play. He sits by every door hoping when it's opened Canaan will bound in. We all keep looking for him. He's been sending me funny messages from the other side. One came later that afternoon on Tuesday not too long after I told Superman I hoped he would communicate with me in my dreams or in my thoughts. It went like this...

I heard some loud noises outside, and asked Superman if heard them. He told me no. It was then I realized it was the mailman, and quick as lightening I heard Canaan say, "Yes, it's the mailman. Now you can hear him as clearly as I used to when I could hear well." I laughed out loud. He was right, it was so clear as if I had dog ears! I'd never heard the mail drop that loudly in the box before or heard the mailman's footsteps that well before. He laughed then, too. He could hear my thoughts just like he had when he was here.

Later that night he communicated with me again by prompting a blogger friend I hadn't heard from in nearly a year to come to my blog to catch up with me. He noticed I had added under Wonder Dogs picture on my sidebar his new handle of being the George Clooney of the Dog World given to him by Emilee. He said perhaps he looked like another famous George, the comedian from the 50' and 60's, George Gobel, noting he was cute, too. Out of the blue, a cosmic message in a bottle from Wonder Dog. I could feel his presence strongly, and humorously. That pup never failed to make me laugh. He was a comedian as well as a warrior.
Yesterday he did it again. Opie Taylor was cruising the house again looking for him and stopped when he came to Canaan's bed. He stood staring at it then opted to walk around it rather than get in. He took a few steps away from it then jumped about a foot in the air as if he'd bumped into a ghost... Superman and I both saw it and turned to each other and said, "Canaan!" Yes, It was Canaan playing with his kitty. A friend on Facebook told me that Buddists believe people and animals linger around for a few days after dying. I can see why they say that because it sure feels like he has been hanging around to help us when we're having a hard time dealing with him being gone.

Wonder Dog, the George Clooney of the dog World, and beloved Canaan Lee Crock, we miss you buddy. We know you're waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge. You left us understanding death is a thing of beauty, and wonder, as much as being born is. Neither Superman nor I had ever experienced being with a pet as they crossed over before. Canaan helped heal my fears about letting go. I'd become more fearful of letting go after the auto accident with PTSD making those fears and others really difficult to face. Truth is, I miss his really bad dog farts, and nightly butt lickings. I miss him clawing at the carpets, a part of his natural nesting instincts each night to help settle himself down to sleep. I miss those doggy smiles and drooling all over the floor as he ate his biscuit. I'll miss the black tumble weeds of dog hair scampering across the hardwood floors in search of a landing place.

Yes, Wonder Dog, you will be missed deeply, and will always loved as a corner stone in our foundations and lives. Chase those Moonbeams, Wonder Dog. Keep your ears perked up, and keep your keen sense of smell alert to the scent of one of us coming to meet you on the bridge. There we'll meet again, and talk about old times, and all the years ahead of us in our new bodies, in our new super hero suits that sparkle like stars in the heavens.

Listen to Moonbeam on link below.

http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3133277

Hope Rocks Week 3

My dear friend, Betsi, floral designer extraordinaire, whom I've known since she was 13 growing up as my little sister's best friend in Ojai, CA has been painting Hope Rocks like crazy. The Hope Rocks above are hers. Betsi will be sending more pictures of her newest ones this week. I'm adding a flickr page for us to contribute to plus they can be found on the Hope Rocks page on FaceBook. Please go hit the Like button today, then share the link on your blog or Facebook page, too. Thanks!!!

Andrea from, "Falling Ladies" blog posted all the Hope Rocks she made, and wrote about a special person she left a Hope Rock to find... herself. Listen to the song, 'Concrete Angels' she has playing on her playlist while you look at her post. It fits the her theme so well and is a healing, feel-good song. Her idea for bringing some hope to her life is brilliant.

Terah from "Cowgirl Red" painted some Hope Rocks before she and her hubby went to Jamaica. Terah sent me a message she would be doing this, and told me if any place could use some hope, it is Jamaica. I agree! Go look at her pictures and she how she was given hope to try something she had become terrified of ever doing again. Terah, your bravery fills me up with hope~

Later this week I'll be sharing a poem an artist/blogger, and wonderful friend, wrote for Hope Rocks. She wrote it for me and gave it to me to share with all of you. I asked her if I could tweak it into a theme song for Hope Rocks. She said yes! I'm on it! I'll post a video of me playing guitar & singing it when it's done. Would you guys like that?

Andy from, "Living A Simple Green Life" made this awesome video below for Hope Rocks, and Mel, his sweet wife painted the Hope Rocks. They live in a really cool Black Bus and live off the grid traveling all over their beloved Highlands in Scotland. Pop over to check out their blog out. If you're like me you'll want to hop the next plane, boat, train or car to go meet them. Superman & I have it in our plans to do just that! We love you Andy & Mel!!

The beautiful voice on the video belongs to Sally Hope, a friend from Wales. Please take a listen to all her music on reverbnation. Click on her name above for a direct connection to her link.

Thank you and thank you to everyone participating in Hope Rocks. If I missed someone please email me at HopeRockStars at g mail dot com. Don't forget to add your name to the Mr. Linky below to let me know you're participating in this week's Hope Rocks play along.

Are You a Worry Wart?

"Worry is a prayer for what we don't want" - Unknown

I'm guilty of this and have attracted answered worries just as I visualized the event or circumstances in my head happening. I spent last night worrying about things that have not happened, and probably never will happen, unless they turn into answered worries..... errr I mean prayers. My family used to call people that worried a lot "Worry Warts".

Merriam Webster definition; wor·ry·wart: noun \ˈwər-ē-ˌwȯrt, ˈwə-rē-\ : a person who is inclined to worry unduly

First Known Use of WORRYWART 1936
Related to WORRYWART

Synonyms: handwringer, worrier, nervous Nellie

Related Words: defeatist, fatalist, pessimist

Near Antonyms: optimist, Pollyanna

[+]more

Here's how I can change it.

• Seeing it, recognizing it, and noticing I'm doing it is half the battle. YAY! I'm halfway there already in one thought!
  
• Changing my thoughts, changes my outcome.
• Visualize what I DO want to happen. Spend my time seeing the outcome in a positive light rather than a negative one. Instead of seeing myself freaked out about a situation, see myself at ease, going with the flow, laughing, eyes sparkling, radiating love and being the person I know I am spiritually.
  
• Get up and do something else. I wasn't sleeping anyway, why waste the time awake doing something negative.
  
• Take deep cleansing breaths. Each time I exhale, I release the worry and the negative thoughts.
  
• Count. Yes, even counting can work to bypass the negative thought patterns worry causes.
• Put the worry in a pink bubble and watch it float away. My BFF, Dylan, taught me this one. I can also visualize myself in the pink bubble and watch my negative thoughts bounce off the pink bubble and shatter into a zillion pieces.
  

I'm ready to be whole, healed and worry wart free in my life. I'm serious about changing my life, my thoughts, my outcomes, my sentences, my moments into living in the NOW. How about you? Pinky promise with me that we can do this together! Come on... gimme that little finger. There! Don't you feel better already?

Validation

Oak Creek, Slide Rock State Park, AZ taken by me on our honeymoon.

Have you ever wondered or thought about what your true purpose in life is about? I'm talking beyond the day to day survival things we do just to have a roof over our heads, and food on the table. Life has a way of burying the truth inside our hearts about what we know to be true about our reason for living, and giving back to others.

What would you do if you could do anything you wanted to with your life?

With your talents?

With your gifts?

Everyone has a higher purpose.

Everyone has talents and gifts.
Everyone not just some.

I'd love to hear your thoughts about your gifts, your mission in life, your talents. I'd love to know what you would do if given time and opportunities to live your life freely. Leave me comment then go watch this video that expresses an idea about changing lives by validating others and the gift of exhorting. We can do so much by using this one gift of lifting others up with our words and our smiles.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao

I am grateful to have so many talented, gifted, kind, knowledgeable, resourceful, spiritual, funny, happy, loving, giving, and unique people following me on my blog, and in my life.

You all have changed my life for the better.
Thank you!

Hope Rocks Week 2

Hope Rocks has literally taken off around the world! I'm getting emails and pictures from Scotland, Hawaii, Australia. Wow! Hope is a flame that cannot be put out. Above and below are pictures of where I placed a couple of my Hope Rocks. This bright purple bench was begging me to lay some Hope on it. I obliged. Happily!

The window below I found in an alley
also begged for a Hope Rock
to brighten up someone's day
who walks down the alley
and finds it.

Hope Rock Stars

Sandy Coleman, artist from Creations by Coleman found a clever way to bury Hope so it would find its way back to her just in the nick of time. She writes of how we use the word hope in every day ways, and how hope can be a prayer and an answer at the same time.

Leisanne from LeisanneArt wrote a powerful story about overcoming the fear to love again and shared how Hope had been restored to her when she least expected it to. Her Hope Rocks are angelic masterpieces and I know they will appear as angels to those who find them.

Vicki, from Nolly Posh Dreaming, spreads Hope while spending time receiving chemotherapy, and inspiring other people sharing the journey with her to hold Hope close to their hearts. Go sit for awhile, and read her posts, and listen to the music she plays while you read. You'll leave brimming over with Hope. Nolly Posh was my first follower here on my blog other than family. She gave me so much HOPE that I kept on writing this blog. Now look. There are 520 people following me and 540 regular subscribers. Hope Rocks the entire Universe.

Pamela Barrett, author of 'Tales of the Titmouse' and the blog Sister Gilby's Sayings also participated in Hope Rocks and shares a powerful post titled, 'Hope Rocks: Lessons In Letting Go.

The amazing people that painted these Hope Rocks could be the new Hope Rocks poster children, and adults. The faces and pure joy that oozes from each participant will inspire each and everyone of you. If these enthusiastic Hope Rock Stars don't inspire you to participate, we will need to check your pulse. Seriously, these guys ROCK!

Thank you, Stacy Fisher and her Taekwondo students
at Fisher's CTA Black Belt Academy
for your participation in Hope Rocks!

There are more wonderful people who've participated in this week's Hope Rocks. I'll post their links and pictures this next week. The way things are growing, I may need to do a mid week Hope Rocks post!

We are ready to launch Week 2 of Hope Rocks. Sign up in the Mr. Linky box below. Leave a comment to let me know you are playing or when your pictures are up on your blogs or if you need my email to send me your pictures. You may also become an official fan on the Hope Rocks FaceBook Fan page. Click the LIKE button! Watch the video here to see how it all started and what how to play along.

50 Foot Tall Woman

Quick update on how I'm doing after my surgery on Dec 29, 2010. I haven't felt this good in years, at least the last 2.5 years, that's for sure! Superman took me to my 2 week follow up with the surgeon this past Thursday. He had before and after picks of my "insides'... WOW! Now I can see why I was in such pain. There was a large web of scar tissue that had attached my liver to my stomach that also included my intestines and affected my diaphragm.

Dr. Onders, who also operated on Christopher Reeves to help him breathe independently, specializes in the diaphragm. I told him how much deeper I could breathe, and stretch especially on my right side. I had become fearful that I'd lost my ability to sing because I couldn't get enough air in to hit notes I'm used to hitting or hold a note for a long period of time. He said these adhesions would have definitely hindered my breathing and singing ability. He showed me a picture of before and after of this area. My diaphragm was pushed so far up into my chest and the after picture shows it freed up, and now its back in its rightful place.

I'm digesting food much better, and am able to stand up straight, completely straight. This mass of adhesions were directly around, below and above my belly button. They pulled me down, and to my right side, causing me to stand off kilter. I can see how this affected my posture, caused my back pain and making a disc bulge and why my knee was injured. Imagine yourself being pulled inward at your belly button like you have an invisible knot there, and every day the knot gets pulled tighter, and tighter, until it causes you to stand hunched over. You can't eat without your stomach becoming full of air, and then your stomach distends so much you can barely breathe. In a matter of seconds you can look 9 months pregnant. Imagine a burning, and often stabbing pain that never stops across your midsection, and hurts more if it is constricted in any way. That was me.

Now, I am the 50 foot Woman and I'm FREE! I'm Free! Free to stand tall, sleep without pain, sing like I have a built in mic, and eat food without fear. I am so grateful and thankful for my health, my surgeon, Dr. Onders, for my Superman for not giving up until we found a doctor who could "fix" me, and for each of you who've supported me, and prayed for me. Thank you all! Now I just have to find some clothes that will fit a 50 Foot Woman!

Just leave me a quick comment that says, "Work IT, girl! Work it!"

PS... leave me a comment, too, if you have your Hope Rocks pictures up on your blog so I can give you a shout out and link back to you! Hope Rocks has gone world wide peeps! People are responding like crazy... good crazy! If you are on facebook, please hit the Like button on the Hope Rocks page. You can click HERE to find it.

Hope Rocks Starts Today! Week 1

After you watch the video, sign up on the Mr. Linky below. Leave me a comment after you sign up. I'll be posting pictures of places I hide my Hope Rocks and will feature people here on my blog that play along. Make sure you link back to me on your posts for Hope Rocks!

Make sure you get your Hope Rocks posts up before next Thursday. Each Thursday we'll start a new round of Hope Rocks. Please let your friends know how we're spreading Hope at Woodstock Lily's.

Thank you all for participating!

You can read more about Hope Rocks on my links under my header above titled "Hope Rocks"! Plus there's some pictures of a few of my rocks I've painted to help give you ideas.

Empowering Synchronicity

I've always been a seeker, a curious, cat like creature that couldn't resist following her instincts around a blind corner or up and over a fence to see what's on the other side. The auto accident changed that and this year, 2011, I plan on changing that. On Face Book and blogs everywhere on the web, I've noticed a trend or pattern occurring. People are selecting a single word to invoke change in their New Year rather than making resolutions. I love this idea! I've selected 2 words for 2011. A word can be a powerful thing when used in the right way and I need a NEW word to replace a word that's been holding me hostage in my life. That word is fear.

Fear changed my life
from being a free spirit
to an unrecognizable stranger
chained to thoughts I call the
"what-if's".

The what-if's are not real but they can seem very real as if the event, or events, have already occurred. Negative what-if's are layered with thoughts or ideas we imagine will happen, but without the happy endings. One negative thought fertilizes another, then before we know it, we've created multiple vines of untruths in an imaginary horror movie that will probably NEVER happen. What-if's choke the life out of the current moment, the NOW, and rob us from having happy tomorrows. NOTE: What-if's are not the same thing as dreaming about how we'd like to live or things we'd like to do as in making goals. That type of perceiving the future helps us visualize ourselves achieving a goal that's positive in our lives.

The what-if's are much like a plant that is root bound. No healthy plant growth occurs above the soil because the roots are seeking nutrition in a pot that is too small or is full of bad soil. A plant can survive quite a long time in its root bound condition but it's not thriving. I can see I've been living or existing the past 2.5 years since the accident much like this, but not with the full freedom I'd like to have by living without fear.

With PTSD and other disorders of anxiety, or stress related diseases, fear often becomes a way of life. Before you know it, you become house bound or bed bound or simply bound up like that unhealthy plant. We can't produce fruit or flowers or healthy stems if our roots/thoughts are being watered with the what-if's. Negative thoughts can spiral out of control if we don't prune them, or nip them in the bud when they're first forming or pull them out like weeds when we learn to recognize a thought is not healthy. This is the key; learning to recognize them before giving life to the negative thoughts.

Here's how I'm going to change this in my life. In the early 80's I owned a plant business. I'd always loved plants and gardening, and found after I started my business, that I had a natural gift of understanding or communicating with plants. Go ahead... say it... I know you're thinking it. YES, I talk to plants. I talk to trees. Sometimes my communications are spoken right out loud and other times, it's with thoughts. I feel their energy. I can feel the energy in all living things. That's why one of my nicknames is, Dr. Doo-Lille. Even animals, wild or tame, connect with me in unique ways. It's always been this way for me and nature.

But getting back to topic... Whenever I am going to trim a plant or transplant it, I always communicate with it first to let it know what I'm doing and why. I don't want it to feel fear by suddenly getting uprooted or being cut. You can laugh if you wish but I know this is real and it works. This process of communication soothes the plant before the experience and causes no lasting trauma to it. I'm going to use this same technique on myself when fears start to enter my thoughts. My what-if's need to be trimmed away before they take root. My word for 2011 to fix this is, EMPOWERING. I will empower myself by being gentle with myself, just like I am to plants, people and animals. I will lovingly trim the negative thought away and will seal the wound with love. This Lily will thrive with that kind of love.

My second word fits perfectly with the empowering. It's SYNCHRONICITY. Since I'm so good at thinking up all these negative what-if's that I easily turn into full-fledged movies when I'm entertaining fear, it gave me an idea. I love my imagination and love it when synchronicity happens in my life. What if I use that gift of imagination in a positive way? When I pray, or believe that something I ask for will happen, I open my spirit to receive great things. Faith is needed next by believing the Universe/Spirit/God or Goddess (I respect all people's choices of names/words for their Higher Power) will answer my prayer. My experience with answered prayer is that it may not come to me in ways I've expected it would, but it has always arrived just in time. One answered prayer leads to faith for more answered prayers, and then the ball gets rolling, and life gets exciting, and then, and then, and then...

Life becomes magical, fun, exciting, peaceful, and full of miracles happening one after another. I like to think of those moments of answered prayers as synchronicity coming straight from the Creator.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before, except perhaps I needed to experience fear, anxiety, stress, PTSD, and depression INSIDE and OUT as if I were in training to learn everything possible about how it works. Training so I could help others heal, and empower themselves with faith so they can bear fruits of understanding and tolerance for others experiencing the debilitating effects trauma can have on a soul. It took me this long to remember God has always used my pain to help other's with similar pain, and full healing comes when I help others.

The auto accident happened so I could learn how to help others heal from PTSD. If you've read the story about our auto accident then you would know it was lined with miracles every inch of the way. It should have killed all four of us. But it didn't. Why? Because God had bigger gifts of synchronicity all lined up from that moment forward so EACH one of us could fulfill our missions on Earth. All four of us have undergone amazing life changes since the accident.

My words, Empowering Synchronicity, is how I'll live in 2011,
and for as long as needed because my Higher Power wants me to live in the fullness of life, bearing awesome fruits and loving others on this journey called life,
on this amazing planet called Earth,
in an amazing movie I've just discovered
I have creative control over.

Cool bean-a-roos, Peeps!
I'm a Director, and a Leading Lady!

What is your word or words for 2011? Terah from Cowgirl Red's word is Freedom. I would love to see your comments about your word/s for 2011 so I can believe with you. Leave me a comment with your word so other's can see what you're believing in, and together, we can create a movie worth starring in. One filled with love, peace and happy endings. I'll even make the popcorn!

Hope Rocks Deep Inside Me

I'm getting closer to the fearless girl I used to be!

Hi Everyone~

I'm still on the mend from the surgery. I can already tell the difference it's made on my body. The right side and mid section of my abdomen already feels freer. I had no idea how bound up the adhesions had made me feel.

I see the surgery as a metaphor to my overall healing; physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. The pictures the doc took while exploring my abdomen are icky and uber cool at the same time. All I can say is that the adhesions looked like ropes, or tendons, large rubber bands, spider webs or tentacles that connected parts of my body together that should not be connected.

I'm surprised I'd be this sore and exhausted...major exhaustion. But having this down time has made me realize the surgery to remove these tentacles will set me free. Free from the ropes that bound me to the past, my fears, my trauma that started the PTSD, and every link that's held me to the past is gone. I'm free to make a new future. Write a new story. Go on with my life. Make life better than before the accident. I am FREE!

The doc told Superman and Dylan, my BFF, there was not as many adhesions as he'd expected. He said I had a good looking liver. I don't know whether to blush or throw up.... lol But seriously it means so much to know my liver looks good. What a weight lifted off my mind. Plus, he left my inner squirrel untouched. That squirrel helps my child heart come out and play. I need it as much as I need my heart.

Hope Rocks (click link highlighted) will officially start next Thursday instead of today. I need an extra week to rest and heal. I'll post more details as I feel up to it. I'm hoping for a speedy recovery but I don't want to take on too much, too soon, and relapse. Go ahead and start painting your rocks if you haven't already.

I'd love to hear from you in my comment section while I'm healing. It would be like getting get well cards in my mailbox.

Much love and thanks for all for your prayers!!