Embracing Today

I really do embrace every season. It seems we often spend more time waiting for or talking about the next season than really savoring the gifts of the current one. Soon it will be summer, and we'll be complaining about how hot it is... We'll be wishing for an icy, cool breeze to take us away from the sizzling, sweltering heat. We'll begin talking about how nice it will be to wear sweaters again.

How much time do we really spend here today?
Right now--in this precious moment.

Yesterday Superman took me for a winter walk. I had a doctor visit that was quite a distance away so to help me cope with the traffic [and my tired foot from helping him brake on my side of the car] he broke up the trip with a glorious reminder of the beauty in "today".

I am OK...

I can find my center and remember how to be here now.
My joy to be alive is bigger than my fear of being in a car.

And a great winter hat is always a reminder why I have every reason to smile.
Besides....
This hat goes great with a pair of monkey pantz.

Pink Lady

Here's a collage of my new art. The Pink Lady, Dragonfly Moon, and Butterfly Heart are water colors. The bottom right is colored pencil and ink.

I'm updating my 101 Creative To Do List and will have a link up for it soon.

My kid's are traveling through New Mexico right now. Emery has been a great traveling baby. Thank you all for keeping them tucked in your thoughts, and sprinkling them with prayers.

My Interview with Laura Hollick

So what does one wear for a Skype interview??? The same things newscasters wear under their desks.... A bright, bold colored pair of Monkey Pantz. Uh huh. Just like I promised. Neon, baby. Hey a girl has to do what ever it takes to keep the sass in her pantz. Here's some info about Laura. I love this woman's spirit!

Laura Hollick

Laura Hollick is one of the emerging creative thinkers in the Human Potential movement that is sweeping our planet. She is redefining art as a way of living and inspiring people around the world to create their lives as a work of art. Selected from across Canada, BRAVO TV created a documentary about Laura's life and work, called 'The Artist's Life'. She has hosted and produced over 500 radio shows and published over 200 articles on creativity and lifestyle that expresses the creative spirit.

Laura’s personal art is a reflection of her unique creative spirit. She often combines elements of nature and transforms them into imaginary worlds that seduce us to deepen our awareness and lead us home to spirit. Laura’s work is an inspirational feast for the soul. In 2008 Laura was nominated for "Artist of the Year' and in 2009 was voted 'Best Female Artist' by View Magazine.

At the heart of it all Laura's work is a deep desire to connect with spirit and connect spirit with the world, to grow spirit on earth. She says, "My life is my soul's work. I am here to create my masterpiece--myself."

Check out my audio interview with Laura and her studio, Soul Art. And my Monkey Pantz below...

Click Here for the Laura Hollick Interview

Please leave a comment on Laura's blog to let her know you were there...

Psssstttttt.... FYI

Superman Delivers

How many girls can say they got flowers, lilies to be specific, from Superman? Aren't they beautiful? Oh baby, he does more than deliver... [that may have sounded kinky...] I'll have to get one of those blogs with an adult content warning to proceed... Nah... never mind... There's just some stuff ya'll don't need to know anything about.

What I meant to say is that Superman anticipates my needs before I do as well as what would bring me joy, peace, a smile or will bring healing to my body, and mind. It has to be that X-ray vision. He can see into my soul. Truly he can.

If you knew how many times I ask him when we're driving, "Can you slow down please?" He answers sweetly, "Sure, Wonder Woman." Even when he's already going 10 miles slower than the speed limit... He never rolls his eyes when I say, "I don't like that car!!!" (for the umpteenth time in 5 minutes) My PTSD tells me the auto is coming straight for our car or is going to weave into our lane. He never makes me feel silly for gasping or hiding my face in my lap. He just moves over in another lane or slows down. On some days I may have more triggers than others. He reaches over and pats my hand or leg.

So when I recently became infected with worms he never flinched! Nope not once... In fact he was the one who diagnosed me.

Oh did I say "me"?? I meant to say my puter had worms. Boy... Opie just ran out of here like a wild man. Nobody likes to hear the word worms unless you're going fishing. And a cat certainly doesn't want to hear you say they have worms or wants to eat a "funny shaped piece of cheese" with a hard cylinder inside it... Cats and dogs always know when you're trying to hide a pill in their kibbles. But what you don't always know is when your puter has become a home for critters of the viral type, the worms of cyber space, the bots and villains that prey on the innocents. Until it is too late. Creepy....

But who is Superman's alter ego? Clark Kent. Mild mannered computer wizard. He's not afraid of no stinking worms. So if you were wondering where I've been...

I was hiding under the bed.
The bots know where I live.

Well not really... but I've been without my laptop for awhile. So I'm very happy to be back here in Blogville. I missed you all terribly!

Thank you all for all the love you sent my way for my Mom and my son. Jake, Ashley & Emery are leaving early Saturday morning for CA to visit his dad. Please keep them in your thoughts. They're driving from here (OH) to CA. Long trip with a baby.

My Mom is home, and is doing really well. Her surgery went much better than we could have hoped for. I can't even begin to tell you how happy that makes all of us.

Stay tuned. I have some really cool things to share with you in upcoming posts! New art. Pics of the Lily Pad. A blog radio interview. An update about the contest I mentioned having about a month ago. [see how I just tossed out a teeny, tiny tidbit about a totally, freaking, sah-weet blog radio interview like it was lettuce on a sandwich when actually I'm about to wee muh giddy self from sheer excitement???]

Plus, a peeecture of me wearin' muh monkey pantz... Uh huh... Neon, baby.

Prayer Request

Jake and Emery

My son's daddy isn't doing well. He's battling throat cancer. It's very hard for so many people right now especially my son, Jake. Please say a prayer, and send comfort, and peace to cover us all in a blanket of love.

And lastly, please pray for my Mom. The surgery on her back is tomorrow. The last 2 years have been really rough on her. I'm just sick that I cannot be with her. One day I'll be able to drive or ride in a car anywhere I want to go. I cannot give up hope that this will be a reality. It's times like this I feel so bad that I can't step outside my comfort zone to be with those I love when they need me like my son, and my Mom.

Thank you so much everyone.

The Colors of Winter

Taken from my kitchen window

Winter is alive with color

Even if I only get a peek behind a branch

The color of winter waves back to me

Life at the Lily Pad is psychedelic & colorful.
~Groovy~

Flying Dream: Part Two

Here's the rest of my flying dream... (read part one to see where we left off) There we are, my son and I, hanging out in a bathroom at a Mexican restaurant in downtown Ojai, CA with mousey brown hair dye on our heads.

For those of you who don't know my son, he's been a lead singer & guitar player in rock bands since he was 15, and has probably dyed his hair more often than I have---and that's a LOT! Gotta love creative expression.

Jake becomes concerned about time, and needs to meet Ashley, his wife, so he rinses his hair and bolts out the door. I watch which direction he heads then take my turn in the small sink rinsing the hair dye off my hair. I rinse my head quickly, and run out the door to follow Jake. (I'm a helicopter Mom sometimes... OK most of the time...) I realize he has a pretty good head start so I decide to take a short cut down a side street. I zoom out, and up, to an aerial street map like you see on Google maps and pick my course.

Walking does not seem fast enough so I begin running. My pace picks up, and my legs become gazelle like--stretching out gracefully before me with strides that appear like a super heroine. People start to notice, and make comments, "Wow! Look at that girl running. Her feet are off the ground!" (Yes, I consider myself a girl in a woman's body) I'm elated to see my feet are actually off the ground, and make a decision to fly instead of run since I'm practically flying anyway.

To gain altitude I start making swimming motions with my arms cutting through the air as if it's water. Up, up, up I go... above the buildings, the cars and the people walking on the sidewalks or standing in their yards. Everyone is watching me sail above them. No one has seen someone fly before and this is my 15 minutes of fame. I'm feeling exhilarated, and special, and free. I no longer need to flap my arms, my body is gliding effortlessly as if I weighed the same as a feather.

I'm flying above the main intersection in downtown Ojai where the clock tower is in the center of town. The sky is a vivid, surreal blue. People are crossing the street hurrying to make it before the traffic light changes. In the crosswalk below me are a group of conservative women with shopping bags dangling from their arms. They're clustered tightly together like a quilt made out of polyester squares afraid to touch cotton.

Suddenly a women that resembles the church lady from SNL pulls back from the pack, and points a bony finger up at me as I flit overhead. Her mouth looks like a sea gull's beak, gaping open begging for bread crumbs. I pause in mid flight to discern the words coming from her gullet. They break the perfect, blissful moment my flight has given me as she screams.

"You can't fly! That's not Godly! God doesn't like it when you fly!"

Everyone on the sidewalks and crosswalk stop dead in their tracks. They stare at me barely breathing to see what my reaction will be to her loud accusation. My soul, my heart, my core knows this is not true. Without hesitation my voice resonates through the dead air like a skilled stage actor with perfect diction knowing everyone in the back row of the theater can hear my booming, poised voice.

"F_ _ K, you! God loves it when I fly. He's the One who taught me how to fly in the first place!"

Then off I fly into the sunset as free as a bird. I am free. Finally, I am free.

End of dream....

My son has such a healthy attitude about being different than other people. One time he had a 5 inch hawk (Mohawk) with bleached roots, a 3 inch band of lime green, and black tips. We went out to eat, and the little kids at the table next to us were staring at him. Their parents apologized and said, "Sorry our kids are staring at you but they love the Disney movie "Land Before Time" and they think you are a dinosaur." Everyone in the restaurant laughed, especially my son.

Jake with his leopard look. Ashley created this clever look for him.

Now I really, really, REALLY want to type the "F" word in the sentence above, and not sugar coat it. Ya'll know I never use "that" word here on my blog. (I said on NOT my blog... it's been known to soothe my ruffled feather's on occasion when no other word is bold enough) I prefer to use Frap but it's really the same word.... It's just a matter of switching out a few letters. But I am afraid. Afraid of what you'll think about me if I do.

I know it's just a word. I also know this word is offensive to some people. And let me set the record straight. I love conservative people, freaks, polyester (well I'm kinda lying about that one... OK I am lying right out loud about that one... I truly hate polyester) This is not a post about bashing anyone or anything--except my own fears. Plus, you all know I worry sometimes about what people think about me for having PTSD or panic attacks since May 4, 2008. I "shouldn't" still be afraid to get in a car. I shouldn't be afraid to type the Eff word.

I know some of you would cheer me on to type "it" because you've followed my blog for a long time. Frap is safer to type and this just more Fear being afraid to type a silly word, and that sucks. I loved my dream, and I want to be flipping freer. My spirit knows how to fly. Fudge... I freaking can't stay stuck forever. It's just a frigging word.... Four little letters. I want to let it rip because that's what the dream was all about. Not being afraid. Not allowing people to make me question myself or doubt myself. Not being afraid of what other people think about me even if I do get scared sometimes.... or if I fly too high.... or if I say....

fuck

There I said it.

Frap... that was hard.

And yes, I'm cringing a wee bit....
OK a LOT...

Do ya'll still love me?????

Flying Dream--Part One

I had a liberating, vivid flying dream. Lord how I love my flying dreams.

Part One: The Flying Dream

I was in Ojai, CA with my son Jake & he had concerns about what his dad would think about his hair having a swath of lime green in it. We decided since his dad doesn't have a great sense of humor about body piercings, hawks, and tatts, that we would tone his hair down a bit before he met up with his Dad. I happened to whip a bottle of hair color out of nowhere, and proceeded to dab a "safe, neutral, mousy brown" on both of our heads. I didn't actually need to color my hair-- I'm just a Loreal junkie. One sniff of that peroxide, chemical blend and I gotta have it! What can I say? They can't arrest me for it!

So there we are, my son and I sitting in a bathroom in a Mexican restaurant on Ojai Ave we used to go to all the time when we lived there, waiting for his hair to change from chartreuse to blah brown. Tick tock tick tock... time flys when you're dreaming....

Exit Dream

Real Life Footnote: Jake's dad is battling cancer for the 3rd time. Throat cancer. He just completed a harsh round of chemo and radiation. Jake hasn't seen his dad for a few years, and his dad hasn't seen Emery, Jake's son, who is his only grandchild. His dad can't fly out here to visit--the flight would take a toll on his already compromised body. And no one could afford to pay airfare for Jake, Ashley & Emery to go to CA to see his dad. Until I received a letter from an old friend in CA. Do you all remember my friend, Pamela Barrett who wrote, 'Tales of the Titmouse'? One of the characters in this book, Penny, is the friend that sent me a Christmas letter.

I'm embarrassed to say the envelope sat in a pile of Christmas cards unopened for a couple of weeks. I was too sick, and too exhausted from the severe panic attacks due to PTSD I was having plus a bad sinus infection. It was difficult to focus on much of anything except trying to keep my mind above water. Finally I found a place of peace to focus properly, I began opening my cards. I never expected a check to fall out of the envelope written to Jake from my dear friend of 39 years. She had a small inheritance left to her, and set aside funds for Jake's secondary education. She said she thought a trip for the three of them to come to CA so his dad could see his grandson, and family was a perfect secondary education---one called Life.

Needless to say... We are all overwhelmed, and in awe of such love and generosity coming from such an unexpected source. The Universe does hear you, and does bring you what you need. Thank you my precious friend, Penny, for loving me all these years. Thank you Pam & John, for visiting Jake's daddy at Christmas. Thank you for the secondary education funds you provided for Jake, Penny. He's planning the trip now. I'll keep you all posted...

Part Two of the Flying Dream coming up soon.

My First Music Video made by the Dafthermit

This lovely music video with my song Moonbeam was made by my dear friend, Andy, the Dafthermit, who travels the Highlands of Scotland with his precious wife, Mel, and their 2 cats and 2 dogs in a black bus that was custom made by them. Andy used his photography, and film of Scotland, plus some of my personal pictures to make this video. Listen closely and you can hear the winds blowing across the fields of flowers in Scotland.

Please stop by to see more of the dafthermits videos HERE and his blog featuring stories, films and photography about their travels living off the grid HERE. Fabulous! FABULOUS!

I'm happy to announce my tests results came back normal. First time I've ever been considered normal... I'm going to savor it. Thank you for all your prayers, and good energy sent my way. And thank you Andy and Mel for making such an amazing video for Moonbeam---and me. I adore you!

Thighs Does Matter

There's one kind of robbery that's the worst kind of all. Oh it's sneaky, and if you're not watching closely, you'll lose your ass. You can often uncover the underhanded deed when you're standing in the check out line at the store thumbing through a magazine, patiently waiting your turn. Then BAM! The covert crime jumps up, and smacks you in the face! Literally...

Right there on page 72. You find a shot of yourself in the Victoria Secret ad but someone cut YOUR head off your body, and placed some strange woman's face where yours used to be! What really sucks is when you start screaming about this blatant form of thievery to the people standing in line with you--they just look at you like you're a loon, or a complete loser, even if you have proof you've been robbed. This has happened over, and over, and over to me.

I finally found a way to get revenge. FaceinHole. Look at my furrrrreeeeking gorgeous thighs would ya??? My face + someone else's body. A thigh for a thigh. Brilliant! I love the way my mind works sometimes... I'm not only taking back my thighs... I'm taking back my life!

I was talking to Superman tonight on the phone and told him, "I'm going to be living with Gusto this next year." I quickly added, "You understand I need him in my life right now! One day I'll live with you..."

I realized I'd let the cat out of the bag when Opie Taylor sauntered over, and meowed, "What about me??? I thought you were living with me!?"

Lord my frigging life can get complicated so dang fast sometimes. I'd just blurted out I was planning on having an affair to Superman and Opie T.

You know what Superman said???

He said, "There's room for all of us in your life, including Gusto." Opie just purred.

You see, peeps, I want to make 2010 the best ever. I want to take every step possible to conquer PTSD so I'll stop losing precious time being sick, spending long hours at the doctor's office, and the hospital like I did today getting my Echocardiogram done. Or the time it takes to recover from being worn thin by stress related illnesses. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired!

I've been looking for my mantra, my word for the new year, my motto for 2010, my mission statement for seizing the moments I've missed while I've been blind dating Stress. I found it.

GUSTO...
I'm living with Gusto
in 2010

After I came home from the hospital today I took a much needed nap. I had a lot of time waiting between phases of the test today to think about what I wanted to change in my life to make the quality better. So I decided to cozy up to Gusto. And it felt darn good. After being such a bold little tart, he agreed to move in with me right away. Pfftttt... No Pre-Nup needed.

So that's the thighs of it, peeps.
I've been living with someone else's head
on my body for too long...

I'll update you about the results of my tests as soon as I get them. Lawd knows I'm gonna need a good heart to keep up with 3 men... and a lacy pair of Monkey Pantz to show off my sessy, new thighs. Oh, baby!

Heart Waves

Journal art "Love Grows Here"
Pen and Prisma colored pencils

Tomorrow I'm having the stress test to determine why my EKG was abnormal with an inversion in my T wave. I've been focusing on my art, and not much else. Lots of heart art going on around here. I'll be posting the new work soon.

Tour of Nostrildamus