Unwrap Gifts Disguised As Setbacks

My new video interviews with Tina van Leuven, from InnerDelight. You can find Tina on FaceBook, too. Click on either link highlighted in the last sentence to explore the beauty, and passion she has for creating JOY as a way of life, not only for ourselves, but for the entire world. There are three videos in this series. I am posting the first one, and if you go to Tina's YouTube channel, InnerDelight, you can find the other two we did, plus, many more delightful interviews with other guests.

Watch the video to catch up on what I've been up to, as well as seeing my dimples do their thang~

My new song, "Remember To Remember'

I wrote this song a little over nine months ago. My son, Jake, recently finished the final music and mix. He took my original music, kicked it up to a level of brilliance, and was my recording engineer. I truly feel like I've given birth. There were lots of delays, and setbacks while working on this song. One of which was being hit hard with fibromyalgia--a diagnosis that found its way to me after my auto accident.

I am healing. I am in great hand's with my beloved, Superman, taking the wheel to insure I get all the natural supplements, care, and love I need to get through this. Being nearly crippled by fibromyalgia, and the inability to exercise, I packed on quite a bit of extra weight. At the end of 2011, I was merely steps away from needing a wheel chair, and a handicap plaque for my car. I eliminated sugar, grains/wheat, and dairy (except an occasional indulgence with cheese) which has been a life altering experience in itself. I've lost 25 pounds since the beginning of January!

I have learned so much through this entire process of healing, and am well on my way to living my life as abundantly as I can. I have so much to share with you, I can barely contain myself! I'll be posting new videos soon, as well as the tidbits of wisdom I've experienced while healing. Thank you all who have been concerned by me being MIA here at Woodstock Lily & especially to those who took time to send me emails or messages of encouragement.

I am offering my new song, "Remember To Remember' as a gift to all who would like to download it or share it with others. I have been given so many gifts and talents, I feel it is my gift back to the Universe for blessing me so abundantly. It is also my heartfelt gift in song, as an encouragement to love yourself, and to love others. I invite you to take a listen. Close your eyes while you do, and soak up the message in the song. Click on the song title below to listen or download.

Remember To Remember

A Year After Detoxing

A year ago I was drowning in a sea of medications for mental health, sleep and pain. PTSD had swallowed my mind like a crunchy snack for over three years. My wake up call came after we returned from our honeymoon--it was time to work through my mental dis-ease on my own. The medications had taken a toll on my body, and my mind. I needed to see if I could ever get in a car, or quench my anxiety, fears, unrest or sleep without popping a pill. The desire to face a day, even in pain without a pharmaceutical aid, or a glass of wine, became bigger than my need to mask whatever lurked beneath my fragmented, river of unruly thoughts.

I had to hole up, literally, alone for days at a time. Go inside the pain. Swim, and do belly flops in the deep waters I feared would suck me down, down, down till I had no more air left in my withered lungs. The body aches, and agitation festered, and grew like yeast in warm water inside my belly. I literally writhed in agony, and sleep was illusive. Superman braved the storm of my anger, unleashed and often venomous--his beloved Wonder Woman had become quite unlovely to be around. I was ugly with a capital U. Yet even at my worst, he continued to toss me an anchor of love to hang onto. I honestly don't know how he did it, but somewhere, deep below the troubled waters, he saw I was also becoming BRAVE--with the cap lock on. Letting go of my chemical buoy has been one of the bravest things I've ever done. Ever...

During the last year I have also undergone an intense spiritual awakening. It's been a journey of letting go of all things that held me captive. Old spiritual belief systems I wore around my ankles like a ball and chain fell off as I open my eyes to truth as it was revealed to me. Guilt about what people would think about me, especially loved ones whom I used to walk with in a certain religious faith, dissipated in my new found freedom. I'd always resisted the idea of separation of mankind, as in the ideas taught in many religions of "our way is the only way", "our God is the only God", "heaven and hell", "our book and teachings are the only way to enlightenment", etc, etc, etc... This is also one of the bravest things I've ever done. Seeking, and finding, truth about who I am spiritually has held me up while treading the waters of rediscovery. I know without a doubt I am a part of journey designed by the Universe that only wants the utmost good for me, and all of mankind. I am eternally evolving. We all are.

My body still hurts, a lot, on a daily basis. I'm chronically tired. I fight the grip of isolation, and on most days would rather never leave my house or talk to loved ones on the phone. But on a whole, especially looking back in hindsight, I am indeed a whole new person I've grown to love and respect. I'm healing and my bouts with PTSD are lessening. My fears feel more manageable when I can laugh at them instead of believe them as truths. I sleep like a baby most nights. I rest when I need to. I've found unlimited tranqulity being in nature; my new church, my new swimming hole. I don't beat myself up for gaining weight due to the lack of physical agility I had before the auto accident. Fat floats--right? I share any toxic messages forming in my brain to my higher power or Superman instead of allowing them to explode inside me. My inner water wings are holding me up, and my Superman, is still faithfully floating beside me.

I am not advocating anyone stop taking medications without consulting with their doctors. I am only discussing what was right for me. I had to see what it was like to experience my world, my thoughts and my personal swimming lessons un-medicated. This post is merely a reflection on the laps I've swam in the last year.

My hope is that I can continue to be brave.
For another day, another week, another month.
Another year.
With all my toes in the waters of life.

What's the bravest thing you've ever done?

The Colors Of Gratitude

The view from my studio window.

The colors wash my heart with joy...

And leave me in a puddle of bliss.

The reflection of autumn in my bird bath.

I could sleep and dream in vivid detail
on a bed of leaves like these.
Couldn't you?

I wish you all a Thanksgiving full of love, grateful hearts
and colorful, charming conversations with loved ones.
As you prepare for Christmas, please try to support
local, small businesses, local artists and craft people.
Or make something yourself to give as gifts.
Occupy your hearts.
It's the best place to be for the holidays.

Festive Twist On Traditional Pumpkin Pie

Pilgrim’s Pumpkin Pie

A whole pumpkin filled with a nutritious, delicious whole grain bread pudding.

The pumpkin is a versatile, instant pot-pan-bowl in which to serve a variety of dishes from desserts to main entrees. This eye-popping dessert is a holiday crowd pleaser that will have your guests saying, “Wow!” as soon as you bring this sassy pumpkin “all dressed up and some place to go” to the table.

Ingredients

4-5 lb short, wide sugar pumpkin or pie pumpkin ( this is important due to the quality of flesh, and better tasting pumpkin)

1/4 cup plus 2 TBS melted butter

1/3 sugar cup plus 2 TBS sugar

2 cups stale whole grain bread with crusts left on (approx 5-6 pieces) cut into 1/4-1/2 inch cubes (or you may leave slices out for a few hours in open air to dry out)

2 cups of milk scalded

3 large eggs

2/3 cup raisins

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp sea salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350

Before baking, cut a zig-zag lid-like opening in the top of the pumpkin as shown. Next lift off lid using a knife to help loosen tips if needed.

Remove lid from pumpkin

Clean seeds, and lose stringy pulp from lid, and inside of pumpkin. You can save seeds for roasting. If you're planning to roast them, do not rinse seeds, just remove as much stringy fibers from seeds as possible, and set aside in a bowl or pie pan.

Brush inside of pumpkin with 2 TBS melted butter

Sprinkle inside with 2 TBS sugar

Place pumpkin and lid on foil lined cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes uncovered

Scald the milk

Scald milk, add ingredients below. Set aside to cool a bit.

Scalding simply means heat until the milk starts to stick slightly on the side of the pan and a film begins to cover the top of the milk. Add remaining 1/4 cup butter and raisins. Set aside while you prepare the bread cubes. I find this gives the raisins a chance to plump up a bit taking a hot bath in the scalded milk.

Make the filling

I am totally infatuated with Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin Bread.

You may use any bread you prefer but to keep it healthier I suggest a hearty whole grain bread. If you’d like to rock this recipe to the moon… try using some of Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin Bread. Sah-weet-sassy-mollasy! I use a blend of 1/2 whole grain- 1/2 Ezekiel 4:9 Cinnamon Raisin Bread in mine.

Slice bread into 1/4-1/2 pieces leaving crusts on.

Add sea salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla to scalded milk mixture.

Pour hot milk mixture over bread crumbs and lightly toss mixture.

Allow bread to soak up milk mixture then cool down a bit. You don't want to add the eggs right away to the hot mixture because it will cook them.

Add beaten eggs. (sounds so harsh when you say beaten...but what egg doesn't like a good beating... unless of course they're hard boiled, sunny-side up or over easy) Stir eggs into mixture but do not over mix.

Pour into warm pumpkin.

Fill to the top.

Place on foil lined baking sheet. Bake for 1 1/2 to 1 3/4 hours uncovered. You may cover the bread pudding mixture with foil for the last 15 minutes if it's getting too brown.

Remove from oven. Allow to cool slightly before transferring to a decorative serving dish. Use the lid as the garnish. Told you it was sassy...

Slice into wedges approximately 1 1/2 - 2 inches thick. Top with a generous dollop of whipped cream. Homemade whipped cream is better.

Who knew a pumpkin could be so much fun? Encourage your guests to scoop up a bit of soft, sweet pumpkin with the bread pudding and whipped cream for a TOTAL experience Pilgrim style! Ooooo La La Sassy Pumpkin Pie! BIG YUM!

Finding Hope After A Loved One Dies

It's been awhile, my friends. Shortly after my last post I received news a dear friend of mine (40 plus years) had cancer throughout her body. The news hit me hard--it hit all who knew her hard especially her family. Betsi was the poster girl for living life with gusto, passion and sheer enthusiasm. She left us about 8 weeks after her diagnosis to wear a sparkly suit and eternal smile.

I went to CA to be with her in her final days. I didn't have time to chicken out traveling due to my PTSD. There was no time to hesitate. When Betsi woke up in the hospital and saw me standing beside her bed, her face lit up like a sparkler. She said, "Wow! Wow! Wow!" over and over again. For a few days she rallied. I told her over and over she had given me courage to do what I never thought I could do by leaving my safety net of home. She gave me a gift I could never have imagined--freedom from my mind's prison of PTSD long enough to be there for her, and her family helping them out. Hearing her tell me she loved me will never leave my thoughts. I can hear her say it as if she were in the room with me and it's always followed by her magical laugh.

It's been difficult for me to resume life as "normal". I've felt incredibly sad even though I have a wonderful life. I haven't been able to paint, play my guitar, sing, write, or do many things that bring me joy. It's as though I felt guilty to simply "go on with my life". How can one when your heart aches for it to just be a bad dream and not real? Betsi wouldn't like hearing this. She's always been one of my greatest fans in life and cheered me on in living my dreams great or small. She would want me to continue sparkling, shining and splashing color on every corner of the world.

Betsi's occupation was an HR Specialist , but she changed it to being an HR specialist for Hope Rocks. She was my right hand on my Hope Rocks page on Facebook--my faithful admin. The Hope Rocks she made (literally hundreds of them) and left for others to find gave her great joy her final months on Earth. She had no idea she'd be leaving us so soon--none of us did--she just did what felt right even though she didn't feel well physically. Here's a message she sent to me Valentine's Day 2011.

" Hey, 60-75 Hope Rocks left at high school for Valentine's Day! I put out all I had done and am doing more now. You gave me hope back and I love you for it! Well, I love you anyway but you know what I mean!"

Yes, Betsi, I do know what you mean, and looking back on these dark days, and months of grief, I see it's time to allow HOPE to light my way again and warm my heart just like your laugh did. You gave me my hope back that I could be even somewhat "normal" living with severe PTSD. I won't waste that gift. I'm shaking the cobwebs off my monkey pants and art supplies. My guitar needs me. Life needs me to re-boot and find more ways to spread hope. I'm grateful to carry the torch for all who need a little hope, and the only way hope grows is when you give it from the heart just like Betsi did and still does every time I think of her.

I love you, Betsi, my HR specialist. Until we meet again... Sparkle on, Cosmo Betsi, Sparkle on~

Channeling Snow White

I am in awe that I was able to stand mere feet away from this sweet Chickadee and film the video below. Wait till you see how much nesting material he/she (?) was able to cram in its tiny beak! If cuteness could be canned, they'd be selling this at Walmart!

Superman says being married to me is like living in a Disney movie. Animals seem to respond to me like I was the real Snow White singing out the window of the dwarve's cottage. That's why he calls me, "Dr. DooLille"...

Tis' good to be me...

~Please feel free to share the magic captured in my video
with your family and friends~

~Enjoy~

Swimsuit Trauma

Is it any wonder we are afraid to shop for a swimming suit??
With that being said... Think I'll tighten my butt cheeks
and head straight over to the house ware department.
Might be safer to shop there...
Just sayin'

Healing, PTSD and Awakening

View of our neighbors lovely tree.

I'm back. I've emerged from a healing hiatus. Check out the video.
Lots of news, and announcements! Sweet Sassy Molassy!

Looks like I've been smokin' the whacky tobacky in the pic YouTube selected for me... LOL

Ascension and Awakening Symptoms

Wake Up Wednesday's: "Little Grandmother's Message For 2011"

Little Grandmother, Keisha Crowther
Click on the picture above to go to her website for more info.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Many people are wondering what is going on
with our planet, our world, our home.
Keisha's message for 2011 speaks to many.
My heart resonates with this message of hope.
When we unite in prayer, we can change the world.

Caturday's with Opie--Dolphin Love

I know without a doubt if Opie had this opportunity he would be doing the same thing as this cat in the video. So would I... Swimming with the Dolphins is on my Creative To Do List. Would you like to swim with the Dolphins?

Gotta go. Opie wants me to find him a snorkel and fins.

Enjoy~

Wake Up Wednesday's: "Awakening"

This week's topic on Wake up Wednesday's is about global changes and PTSD. I'm finally seeing the pendulum swing in a positive direction regarding fear and how it's encapsulated my life since May 08. I've been awakening this last year to so many new ideas, insights and dramatic Spiritual shifts that have transformed me to my very core. I believe I've been allowed to experience fear, trauma and vulnerability so that I can help others who are dealing with the same issues. Our planet is shifting. We are shifting. My video below is my introduction to finding hope, love and peace in the midst of changes we are all feeling on a global level.

I'd greatly appreciate your comments and thoughts on the topic of Awakening, Ascension and the Pole Shift predicted by the Mayan Indians and other cultures worldwide. Waking up to these new concepts has brought the first winds of peace to my soul in a long, long time.