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Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Passages

Shortly after my last post on August 8 I found out Jake's dad, Tom, had passed away earlier that day--it was his birthday. Three days later my Dad passed away. It's been a rough couple of weeks. I'm so happy Tom got to see his grandson, Emery, in March. I saw my Dad in October on my birthday. It was the first long distance trip I've made in a car since the accident. It was worth the stress of being in a car.

We are never guaranteed tomorrow. We are blessed to have today. For this I am grateful. I know we'll meet again on the other side. There is peace and comfort knowing that. Thank you all for your prayers. My family appreciates each of one. I do as well.

My lap top picked up a virus on Face Book... Bummer. Superman to the rescue... once again. He is indeed my Super Hero. He's loaned me his puter and is de-lousing mine. Be careful what you open on Face Book. I got my virus clicking on a person's name to block her from sending me advertisements. Who'd have thunk it???

I'll be back soon with regular posts. I'll have pictures of the remodel to show you but cannot get to them until my puter is cleaned up. In the meantime, be good to yourself and to those around you. It may be the last time you get to.



Saturday, March 20, 2010

Happy Spring!!!


Happy Spring Everyone!
I cannot wait to see what blooms
in your yard this year.
Plant seeds of joy, hope and love.
~Then watch them grow~

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Flying Dream--Part One

I had a liberating, vivid flying dream. Lord how I love my flying dreams.

Part One: The Flying Dream

I was in Ojai, CA with my son Jake & he had concerns about what his dad would think about his hair having a swath of lime green in it. We decided since his dad doesn't have a great sense of humor about body piercings, hawks, and tatts, that we would tone his hair down a bit before he met up with his Dad. I happened to whip a bottle of hair color out of nowhere, and proceeded to dab a "safe, neutral, mousy brown" on both of our heads. I didn't actually need to color my hair-- I'm just a Loreal junkie. One sniff of that peroxide, chemical blend and I gotta have it! What can I say? They can't arrest me for it!

So there we are, my son and I sitting in a bathroom in a Mexican restaurant on Ojai Ave we used to go to all the time when we lived there, waiting for his hair to change from chartreuse to blah brown. Tick tock tick tock... time flys when you're dreaming....

Exit Dream

Real Life Footnote: Jake's dad is battling cancer for the 3rd time. Throat cancer. He just completed a harsh round of chemo and radiation. Jake hasn't seen his dad for a few years, and his dad hasn't seen Emery, Jake's son, who is his only grandchild. His dad can't fly out here to visit--the flight would take a toll on his already compromised body. And no one could afford to pay airfare for Jake, Ashley & Emery to go to CA to see his dad. Until I received a letter from an old friend in CA. Do you all remember my friend, Pamela Barrett who wrote, 'Tales of the Titmouse'? One of the characters in this book, Penny, is the friend that sent me a Christmas letter.

I'm embarrassed to say the envelope sat in a pile of Christmas cards unopened for a couple of weeks. I was too sick, and too exhausted from the severe panic attacks due to PTSD I was having plus a bad sinus infection. It was difficult to focus on much of anything except trying to keep my mind above water. Finally I found a place of peace to focus properly, I began opening my cards. I never expected a check to fall out of the envelope written to Jake from my dear friend of 39 years. She had a small inheritance left to her, and set aside funds for Jake's secondary education. She said she thought a trip for the three of them to come to CA so his dad could see his grandson, and family was a perfect secondary education---one called Life.

Needless to say... We are all overwhelmed, and in awe of such love and generosity coming from such an unexpected source. The Universe does hear you, and does bring you what you need. Thank you my precious friend, Penny, for loving me all these years. Thank you Pam & John, for visiting Jake's daddy at Christmas. Thank you for the secondary education funds you provided for Jake, Penny. He's planning the trip now. I'll keep you all posted...

Part Two of the Flying Dream coming up soon.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Best Gift All Year


Happy Birthday, Emery!
He made his debut last New Year's day.
I'm blessed to have such a beautiful family.



First headphone experience. LOL



Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Snowflakes

All morning I've been watching the snow fall. Flurries, and dense patches of frosty stars falling, or floating, depending on how you look at it. Swirling, and dancing. Silent, intricate universes as individual as we are. It's hypnotic--watching snowflakes fall. It feels like I'm inside a snow globe except the snow is on the outside, and I'm on the inside looking out. I'm pondering the snowflakes, and my navel, with a new year on the horizon.

In watching the snow fall, I realized, all that really matters is this moment, and finding the joy in life no matter how much or how little "snow" falls on my world. So for the rest of the day, or at least for a moment, ( I cannot even begin to tackle the "hugeness" of the entire next year) I'd like to live as free as a snowflake inside my heart. Yesterday is something I cannot change, and tomorrow (should I be blessed enough to have one) is not yet here. I have this one shot at making my life as joyful as a dancing snowflake or as turbulent as a blizzard.

This snow globe perspective isn't a once a year kind of thinking for me. I probably over think most things on most days, and waste way too much time in the "what-ifs" or "I shoulda's". But there's something about hanging up a new calendar that shifts my core, and allows me to begin thinking about new beginnings.

Is it any wonder mankind sees snow a sign of purity? Or a new year as turning over a new leaf? Or white as a symbol of cleanliness? Is it a fluke that a new year falls in winter just as a snowflake does? If snowflakes could sing, would my life song be singing in harmony with them? If my life were a snow globe would others look in on my world and want to be a part of it?

Maybe I should keep my snow globe out all year long to shake up a fresh, snowfall of JOY whenever I need a fresh perspective, or a clean slate to start over if I get muddied-up. Or if I just need a reminder of the JOY that all children see inside a snowflake. Yes... I rather like that New Year's resolution.




2010
I welcome you with joy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Almost a Monk


A quick update on my status. My cell phone was suffocated and permanently damaged by moisture. Next time I won't use my bra as a pocket to carry my cell while hiking, and photographing the lovely fall foliage....

My power cord to my laptop took a swan dive with the cell phone, and I must bury them side by side. Apparently they mated for life while I wasn't looking. I guess they saw sparks when they looked at each other....

So that left me without a cell phone, and the internet. Oh that's not all folks.... My car was in for servicing, and the warranty company I have my car covered under never responded so my car was in the shop for 3.5 days!! No phone, no Internet, and no car. Monk Ville on the mountain top..... which is NOT a bad thing at all. It just made me aware how dependent I am on things, and the fear of being cut off from the world. I don't think our generation could have survived 100 years ago.... We don't know how to be by ourselves---and I'm not talking about holing up in your room with your computer. I mean being completely isolated from other people, and depending wholly on yourself for survival.

So Superman flew in with his laptop, his cell phone for me to use while mine are being fixed, and took me to pick up my car... PLUS he brought me an inflatable bed.... WHY an inflatable bed you ask?????? Why??? Why???? Why???? Because of this.....

In the midst of all this excitement came the BEST news ever. [no not the news that I could have become a Monk and crafted my "Ommmmmmsssss". While that is appealing, I don't look that cute in an orange tunic and a shaved head. [yes, I know that is a stereotype...just trying to make you yuckity-yuck a bit]

Here's the news!!!!

My son, daughter-in-law and adorable grandson, Emery, are moving back home. They will be in tonight, U-Haul and all. You all know how hard it's been for me not being able to drive that far to see them with my PTSD. Grand kids don't stay little so you don't get to see their growth, and cuteness unfold unless they're close by. And the times I've just wanted to hug my son, or hang out with my daughter-in-law, made me sad that I couldn't or play with my grandson. I've missed them so much.

They'll be staying with me until they find a new place, and this weekend we'll be celebrating Jake's birthday. He was born on Halloween 24 years ago. I was so ecstatic I was going to have a baby on Halloween, my favorite holiday, I nearly burst right there on the spot. I had a marker pen in my hand ready to draw a jack-o-lantern on my tummy to go to the hospital "dressed up" for the occasion.... but lost my sense of humor as things rapidly progressed. My little pumpkin was born with a stunningly beautiful head of hair in the most amazing color of red I'd ever seen.
People stopped us on the street or wherever we went, and ohhhhhhh'ed and awwwwwww'ed about how gorgous he [and his hair] was.

Now people do this with Emery. His Mama has a beautiful blog, "Sweetest Thing", all about Emery, if any of you care to take a peek. Much to my joy, Emery was born with his Daddy's hair. Click on her blog title and it will take you there.

I believe this is a gift. Happy Birthday to me! Oh wait.... I mean happy Birthday dear Jake!!!! Happy Birthday to you!!!!

Friday, October 23, 2009

No Ordinary Ass


Look it's Eeyore...


Told ya he was no ordinary ass. He lives in Ky. Shhhhhhh.....


Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dragonfly Keepsake

A couple of Sunday's ago, Superman and I went on a nice Sunday drive. It's good for me to get back out as much as I can on the highway of life. Most of you know I do really well on country roads, and am working to get back out on the freeways or major highways. But I have to admit... I love a scenic country road far better than a freeway any day, and I was that way before the accident, too. [aren't most of us that way??]

I asked Superman to take me to this antique store I found in my new hood recently that I'd been itching to check out. They drag items out to the roadside, and in front of the store every day. [glad that's NOT my job] They'd been advertising for a TAG sale that weekend, and I was excited to see what charming items awaited me inside. I never expected to come home with a dragonfly.

The store was full of everything imaginable, and not--trinkets, babbles, furniture and antiques crammed into every spot, and then stacked on top of those spots. I loved it. But amazingly nothing was catching my eye or my " I JUST gotta have that bones". I was browsing the wares when a woman who worked there came out from behind the counter and asked us, "Do you know what dragonflies eat?"

Huh??? What??? I did my best "tilt my head to one side Barbie blond wrinkle my nose duh WTFrap look" and said, "I guess they eat small insects like gnats or something. Hmmmmmmm... I don't really know to be honest with you." Truth is, I slept through my Biology classes, or was ditching class, or was on a 25 minute bathroom hall pass smoking in the boy's room break, or was too busy writing love letters to my boyfriend of the week in school so I honestly didn't know what to tell her. She said, "Thanks." and went back behind the counter.

Now how could anyone go back to browsing, and not be curious about why she'd ask such an odd question, seemingly out of the blue??? I had to ask her why.

"Well yesterday just before we closed, a dragonfly flew into the store and ended up flying right into one of those ceiling fans above your head. It knocked it for a loop, and I kept it here overnight to see if it would make it. It's still alive so I wondered what I should feed it until it can fly away."

"Ohhhhhhh....." I answered looking up at the multiple ceiling fans whirling above us on the ceilings, and could understand how the poor thing didn't have a chance if it had been frightened or confused inside the long warehouse. I went about my shopping and wandered outside to look at the mis-mosh of treasures that had bejeweled some one's home in a previous life. I found a container of sea glass for $2.00, and scooped it up like I'd hit a gold vein deep in the Sierra's.

The woman at the counter asked me what I was going to do with the sea glass, and I explained to her that I was an artist. I could see she hadn't perceived the sea glass as anything but junk before, and nodded her head in approval. I had the same curiosity about the dragonfly. I imagined a tiny, cobalt blue dragonfly like the ones that liked to hoover around my cobalt blue kayak. I always felt like the Mothership when they flew around me, and my kayak, and then landed on my knee or arms while paddling. I'd sometimes sit for several minutes just admiring their intense colors, and unique bodies.

I never expected to see such a huge dragonfly, lying on a bright red paper plate on top of a piece of notebook paper as if it were it's protective lining. It was stunningly beautiful.

It was black with the brightest lime green stripes on its head and body, and its wings were iridescent. I'd truthfully never seen a dragonfly this large before in my life. I could see one of its arms was cupping the side of its head as if to say, "Man my head hurts." I instantly hurt for it, too. I wanted to touch it, brush it tenderly as a mother trying to soothe her child after falling off a bicycle. I gently came in for the touch, careful not to frighten it any more than I suspected it already had been, and to my sorrow, it didn't respond at all. I touched a tiny leg. Only 5 of its 6 legs remained on it perfectly intact body. "Its dead, I think." The woman said, "Oh no its still alive."

I was sad to tell her it wasn't. I gently moved it again to show her, and could see she, too, felt helpless, and sad the dragonfly had died. She took the plate off the counter and placed it back on the desk behind her. I picked up my sea glass, and we left the store. We weren't 100 feet out of the drive when I told Superman we had to go back to get the dragonfly. I saw him look at me like the lady had looked at me when she asked what I was going to do with the sea glass. "I'm going to preserve it into a piece of art. It is too beautiful to end up in the trash can."

Superman knows my heart, my mind, that I talk to the trees in the forest, and love every creature large or small. He knows my trash to treasure philosophy in life, and how I can transform anything into a beautiful piece of art. He had no objections to stopping on our way back home, and willingly went inside to rescue the dragonfly on the red paper plate. The woman was afraid it wasn't dead, and if it wasn't that it would starve. Superman assured her I would never do anything to harm it if it was still alive so she gave him the dragonfly, red paper plate and all. I held the paper plate on my lap as if it were a prize. To me it was a prize, and beauty like this should be treasured, made immortal as a piece of art that it is.
It's in good hands now. I plan to encase it in a piece of art, and preserve it for everyone to enjoy its beauty forever. I will showcase the finished art in an upcoming post. Perhaps I will offer the dragonfly artwork as the prize for the winner of my contest to name my new place. Let me know what you think about that as an option. I can assure you, the piece will be beautiful, and will be one of a kind. Just like this amazing dragonfly was.....and still is in my eyes.

One more day!!!
To put in your suggestion for a name for my new digs.
Did you notice the new pic on my side bar???
It should give you some inspiration.
~Contest closes tomorrow at midnight~

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Learn a Second Language Here

Superman and I went out exploring the new hood after sitting on the front porch eating popcorn, and watching the clouds dance across the sky. Here's some country sights and sounds.

Popcorn munching IS a country sound---isn't it???



Goatage????? That's a word---right? It most certainly is! Looky over there >>>> to the right on the side bar. It's the unabridged Lilyputian Dictionary. And that's what we speak around here in this part of the country.
Lilyputian

Just think... in a few short weeks of following this blog, you will be able to speak another language. And who knew learning a second language could be soooooooo much fun? And easy? See you're already ready for lesson two.....

Keep checking the sidebar for new words to add to your vocabulary. People will want to be you after they hear all the clever new words popping out of your mouth as free as a bird.

Now get out there and find some goatage... Oh look!!! A goat sighting right here!


Oh yeah! Now HERE's some goatage. Go check out the goatage, and tell her you speak Lilyputian. You'll get an extra bag of goatage snacks to feed the herds while you're there.

Monday, September 28, 2009

The Purple Glove


"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud
was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" -Anais Nin


I took these shots at one of our local parks where Superman and I hike. This glove was lying beside the trail, alone. I knew there was a story buried within the regal, faded, purple fingers. It was a well loved, well used glove. No it was a well loved, well used purple glove. I wanted to know the purple glove's story.

I wondered....
who did it belonged to...
a woman or a man...
had this person been working on the trail or simply hiking...
would they discover it missing when they got home, and come back to look for it...
who was this person who wore this distinctly, colorful glove...

I want my life to look like this purple glove when it is over. Well loved, well used, and purple. Royally purple. A glove that had learned how to open itself, and blossom in life, and labor, and love, and laughter.




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