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Monday, November 30, 2009

New Year's Resolution Starts NOW

Holy Crap.... I am totally stepping out and putting it all out there [here?] I cannot wait until January 1st to start taking healthy measures. It never works when I try to change/start something on that day anyway. Honestly---does it for you? Probably not.


Last December 14 I quit smoking. I never intended to quit that day. I planned to stop "one day"...but never set a target date. I knew I wanted to do it before my grandson, Emery, was born. He was due the end of December. He was born January 1, 2009. So I guess in a way I can say he was my New Year's Resolution.

I was in the hospital, and it was bitter, frigidly cold last winter. I was sneaking out to puff with my IV pole in tow. People were staring at me because I was only wearing my hospital issue socks, and had a blanket tossed over my shoulders, and hospital gown. Pathetic picture now that I think about it. I was sicker than a dog, and the urge to smoke was so huge I risked getting sicker to have a cigarette.

The week before I went into the hospital, I told Superman I wished I could just go somewhere, like spa or retreat where no one smoked so I could have a few days to detox from cigarettes. I can't say a hospital stay was exactly what I had planned but it certainly presented itself to me in the exact way I needed to have a smoke free environment to stop. I tossed my pack, and lighter in the trash in the hospital lobby and hobbled, practically frost bitten back to my room. I asked the nurse for a Nicotine patch. My prayer was answered any way you look at it... For that, I'm eternally grateful.

I can't say it's been easy but it's been worth it. I was able to greet my grandson into the world smoke free and with no second hand smoke at my home or third hand smoke on my clothes, fingers or breath. I still think about a cigarette, and admit I've stared at some good looking butts lying on the sidewalk with lust and hunger. Sick... I know but it is an addiction that doesn't respect any boundaries or borders you place on it. I may always have to do battle with this villain. That's OK. My health, and my family is worth it.

So Here's The Skinny

I have put on 30 pounds since the auto accident May 4, 2008. I was 10 lbs over my goal weight then. Now I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself because I've had 2 surgeries this past year, quit smoking, and have been battling some major battles with PTSD. But something has to stop [or start] before I find myself on the other side of 200 pounds. I'm not too far from that now.

Oh crap... double crap...crap crappity crap... Here it comes. Oh crap.... I weigh... oh may I please say crap again??? OK thanks. CRAP!

I weigh 191 frapping, fluffy pounds! I can flat out tell you my driver's license doesn't say that! I had my license renewed recently and asked the lady behind the counter if I could be arrested for "fudging" the weight question. She said if that were the case we'd all be in jail.... whew.

So I joined the Joy Fit Club today, and I am going to work to bring some good things to my life, and my future. My health is key to any permanent gift I could give myself. So if any of you'd like to join me in making some healthy goals for yourself, please join me. I'm listed under Woodstock Lily. I have nothing to hide, and need the accountability.

I'll be vlogging so you can see me "waist" away. BTW I measured my waist today, too. That shrill scream heard from coast to coast was me... Poor Opie Taylor. He pooped on the rug because I screamed so loud! [I lied... he just ran out of the room like he'd been scalded] My waist measures [can I lie here???? puleeeezzzeeeeee!] Crap, crap, crappity crapolla!

40 inches That's just wrong!
Who's body is this anyway????

Ummmm Opie didn't raise his paw on that question... so it must be my lily-livered, shaking hand weakly rising to the occasion....

OK I feel lighter just getting that off my chest. I need to eat well. Exercise. And love me back to wholeness. I want to invest in the whole package, my mind, my body, and my spirit. I haven't come this far, baby, to not be the best I can be all around. My grandson needs his "Birdie" to be able to fly, flit and be fit.

I'll update my progress weekly. There's a little gadget on my side bar with a frog under the lily pads that will also let you see how I'm doing.

So ready.... set.... go! I'm officially on my way! Carpe Diem! [ya'll thought I was going to say Crapie Diem....didn't ya???]


  1. Rock on, lady friend...I need to join you!! I'm 63, married 43 years ago at 120 lbs- I now weigh 200...I'd like to lose it (the weight! not my dh! lol)..I'm book marking your blog..thank you!!!!

  2. I found your blog via similar interests on Blogger profiles.

    I quit smoking 6 months ago. I had tried 3 times before and was miserable throughout it. But I had a granddaughter coming and that inspired me to finally do it. I didn't want her to hate how I smelled (how my house smelled.) She's four months old now -- and I am her only non-stinky grandparent! I'm also 20 pounds heavier.

    Anyway. We share an experience!

  3. Very inpsiring have got me thinking. Thank you for that :)


  4. You go girl!!! Just be careful how you word that prayer of asking to lose weight. I said I wanted to lose a little weight and ended up with Inflamatory Bowel Disease. I lost a little too much a little too quick.
    Good Luck on this journey! You can do it.
    And FYI, the number on the scale has nothing to do with your beauty. (you know that though, huh)

  5. I wish you luck, Lily, and I'm with you too. Add another hundred pounds to your weight, and you have mine. I need to work on it too! You will be my inspiration.

  6. Hey - good for you! It takes time to be in the right place to do the weight-loss thing. But giving up smoking is MAJOR - so well done. I too need to shed some pounds - did I say 'some', I mean a stone or several. Like you, I've been dealing with large issues and now find myself 'ready'. And guess what - I'm now at the top of a 180 m hill, so any way I look at it I'm going to get some exercise!! I'll be following your progress - and hoping to make some of my own.

  7. Hey, this all sounds very positive... quitting smoking has got to be a good thing, and losing weight too, for longer term health. So go for it, hang in there, and burn those pounds away. I know, easier said than done. But it can be done. And if anyone can do it... you can, because it is so obvious from everything you write that you are a fighter...

    It's been a little while, hope all is well with you otherwise...

  8. Oh Lillie Diane I'm so happy for you! You've come so far and you definately are on your way to feeling joy every day. I'm supporting you! I love the little frog scale. Keep positive and you'll do it in no time!

    De Anna

  9. Do it,do it! I have faith you can pull it off :)

  10. First, let me say the smoking addiction does eventually fade. This coming Friday will be my eleventh anniversary of the day I quit! Yea me!

    Second... Man are you brave! You actually posted your weight! Now that's really hangin' your undies out! OK, we'll do this together.

    I have to tell you though, you don't look like you weigh that much.

  11. Ha ha I weigh EXACTLY the same as I did when I was 18. 244 with a 44 inch waste. Well at least i weigh exactly the same as I did when I was 18.

  12. What a brave woman you are
    and tenacious!
    I wish you luck and patiance.
    It's not how you look - it's how you feel!

  13. It took me 2 years to stop smoking. After I quit I knew I couldn't go back because I didn't have another 2 years of my time to devote to it! I gained 20 pounds afterward.

    After my surgery last year, I got PTSD. When it got really bad, I would get up in the middle of the night and start eating bread. Very slimming.

    I had to start an anxiety pill regimen which worked. After a year and a half, anxiety went away butd I fell on Sunday and got reminded of my PTSD all over again!

    Good luck on your journey.

  14. Wow... I am cradled in some very powerful well wishes. I am serious about having you join me on this journey. Some of you have already jumped on the wagon. Thank you!

    ~~Mark... I have a question.... Are you any taller now than you were when you were 18??? LOL You funny... =]


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